


Call Your Name

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Out of Character Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Suicide, he's still a snarky little shit, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 12:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2068215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm crying,<br/>Missing my lover<br/>I don't have the power<br/>On my side forever"</p><p>I'm not good at summaries; sorry. Now a one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> AO3 kills my formatting. So the only part that's italicized is his note.
> 
> Listen to "Call Your Name" from the OST while reading. You may need a box of tissues for your feels.
> 
> Now a one-shot, because I'm starting a new reincarnation!AU. The deaths are not the same as they are in here, so keep that in mind if you decide to read "Forget-Me-Not".
> 
> ~ Nylah

"Eren," is all you hear over the commotion, a soft whisper from Corporal Levi's lips. You see others all around, but the only thing that shines with vibrance is his form, his trembling shoulders and his arms wrapped around your body. "Eren."

Your eyelashes flicker and you have difficulty keeping them open. You feel a sharp pain in your chest and look down, only to find a blade sticking out. Your mouth dries and you gulp, a small few tears falling down your cheeks. He swipes them away, laying you down in the grass and kneeling down beside you. You catch a glimpse of Armin holding Mikasa back, Krista - no, _Historia_ , you remind yourself - bowing her head and tears streaming down her face, Jean biting his lip and murmuring to himself, Sasha screaming your name, Connie yelling at you not to die now. Commander Hanji swinging in on the three-dimensional maneuver gear.

You're not quite sure what's going on.

"Levi?" you whisper, and right then and there, you know you're not going to make it through. You catch glimpses of everyone else's surprised expressions as you refer to Corporal Levi by his name and not "sir". "Levi ... I'm sorry."

"Oi ... what are you sorry for, brat?" he responds, brushing away tears that you didn't even know were on your face. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Mikasa's expression darkens, and you glower at her, but your gaze flickers back to the man above you.

"Eren, what the hell is going on?" she asks, and you cough weakly. Levi shoots a glare at Mikasa, biting his lip nervously. "Eren."

"Don't make him talk," Levi responds, and you look gratefully up at him. "Eren, don't. You're too weak to talk."

"L - levi," you manage, pressing a hand to his cheek. Hanji doubles back and smirks knowingly as he glances at the blade in your chest. "Was I ... helpful to -" You splutter weakly, and he lays a finger over your lips. "Was I h - helpful to humanity?"

"Very." His lower lip trembles slightly. Very slightly. But you can tell. His eyes focus on yours, and his hand finds yours, closed around the blade.

"T - there's something else." The squad's eyes widen, and tears stream down their faces (apart from Jean's) when you cough once more. "Levi ..."

"Eren, don't," he warns, leaning down and brushing aside the hair on your forehead to lay a chaste kiss there. "You're too weak to say anymore."

"I - I ..." Why is it so difficult to say this? You've said it to him so many times before, so why is now any different? "I love you." You press your lips to his with your last breath, brushing away the tears that you hadn't noticed were on his face.

***

You're shocked at how bold Eren is, and tears fall down your cheeks as his lips curve upwards into a smile, lifeless body falling backwards into your palms. You bow your head over his form, swiping away your tears and chewing on your lip.

"Corporal Levi ..." you hear behind you, a small, awed female voice. You glance up and see the short blonde - Historia Reiss, wasn't it? - with tear tracks glimmering and you turn your head away, picking up Eren's body. "Were you two - ?"

You toss her a glance that makes her cower, and Eren's sister - Mikasa Ackerman - approaches you.

"What was your relationship with Eren?" she demands, hands curled into fists and eyes narrow. "You know full well that superiors and subordinates aren't allowed to have explicit relationships -"

"Mikasa," Armin Arlert cuts in, grabbing her wrist and forcing it down. He glares at her, biting his lip irritably. "Leave the Corporal alone. He's just as upset as you are - did you not see what just happened? Leave the interrogation for later."

You shoot the blonde a look of gratitude as you carry Eren's body to your horse, slinging it over the stallion and hopping on yourself, clutching the reins with white knuckles.

"We're retreating," you choke out, blinking, hard and swift. Your eyelashes flutter as the equine dashes forward at a trot, waiting for the others to find their horses and catch up. "Shitty four-eyes, head back and tell Erwin ... that humanity's last hope has fallen." Quieter, inaudible to anyone else, you murmur, "And my last love."

"Of course, Levi."

You don't respond, instead turning forward and lowering your head. How could he be gone, just like that, when just the other night he was safe and sound, curled up beside you in your bed? He promised not to die on you. He broke his promise.

***

It had been a month. A month since Eren died. A month since the squads of the Survey Corps brought down the final titan. One long, hard month of learning to live without the shitty brat.

Mikasa was obviously still suffering. And you were with her there - you had sworn to yourself after you finished off the titans like he had wished, you would kill everyone in the Military Police, avenging your lover's death. You would bury him by the sea so he could gaze at it anytime he wanted.

God, somewhere along the way you'd turned into a sap. Or had you always been like this - and had the deaths of your two best friends changed you? Was this just the person you used to be?

"Levi," you hear and glance up to find Eren's sister standing above you, holding your coffee. Her eyes had lost their shine since her brother died. "I brought you coffee."

"Thank you," you manage, taking it and breathing in the heavy scent of your favorite blend. You're surprised she actually attempted to remember it - there was no doubt she'd made it herself. "... how are you?"

"Fine," she replies stiffly, and you can't really blame her for being hostile with you as always. After all, you did beat up her brother in his tribunal (even if it was just for show) and then you two were suddenly lovers exposed by Eren's death. "How I usually feel. I probably won't ever be, you know ... fine ... again. I just feel that without the titans to fight, and without Eren, that there's nothing worth living for."

Oh, how you agree with those words. "I know. I feel the same way."

God, this sounds like some dumbass love confession. Like yours and Eren's.

She clutches her scarf closer to her nose, taking in the scent of it. And you realize something - she and Eren didn't share a last name. She was adopted. She shared a last name with you (there was probably no relation, since you were adopted too, but it was strange). And she most definitely harbored more than familial feelings for that brat.

"Don't ever wash my scarf again, though. It - it has his scent on it."

You almost laugh, but bite your lip. That would be way too insensitive. But you nod curtly, twisting your cravat around your finger.

"So does my cravat," you whisper. "... and I have his key. No matter what, before I die, I'm finding out what's in that basement."

She looks at you, eyes narrowed. You arch an eyebrow, encouraging her to say whatever it is that's on her mind.

"I - um," she stammers, eyes widening suddenly. "I just wanted to say ... I'm sorry. I could've killed you at that tribunal. I was just so angry, I didn't even think it might be an act. I'm so sorry, Corporal -"

"Whoa, slow down," you chide, lowering one eyebrow to raise the other even higher. "It's okay. I don't blame you. No one else besides us ranking officers of the Survey Corps was in on the plan. And, may I ask something?"

"Of - of course, sir."

She avoids your eyes as you open your mouth to say something you already know the answer to.

"You didn't just have feelings for him like he was your brother, did you?"

She gulps. "... y - yes. He ... he saved my life when we were nine. At first it was just admiration, then a regular crush of sorts, and then it - it developed a lot further than that. He just looked to me as his sister, though."

"I see," you breathe, making eye contact for a split second. "Thank you for telling me that ... I see why you were so determined to keep him safe."

Her face flushes. "I - I'll be going now, sir. I'm sorry to keep you."

You arch an eyebrow. "Keep me from what? I don't have anything to do today."

"Did you forget?" she hisses, and you can hear a bit of her protective sister act lurk back into her voice. You blink. "You're supposed to be helping out with Eren's funeral arrangements."

"Oh, shit."

***

You're in a bad mood for whatever reason after that, and you're not exactly sure why. So you fling open the door where Hanji, Pixis, Dok and (of course, even though he isn't Commander anymore) Erwin are.

"So you finally decided to join us, Corporal Levi?" Dok snidely comments, and you glower at him before taking the empty seat next to shitty four-eyes. "I'm glad. I wouldn't want you to miss out on planning your lover's funeral."

You grind your nails into your palms. Dok should know not to mess with you. But he's pushing it. You can feel Pixis' eyes on you, and you bite your lip.

"Shitty four-eyes, did you have to -"

Hanji gives you a wide beam, and you're not sure why.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms, tipping back in your chair and propping your boots up on the table.

"Who pissed in your cereal, Dok?" you respond, arching an eyebrow at him. "And more importantly ..." You turn to that shitty four-eyes. "What the fuck did you do, fucking four-eyes?"

She cackles. You're not sure you really want to know now.

"Oh, just told them about your sex life."

Oh, god. You're ready to stab her, but you turn to Dok instead, eyes narrowed.

"Why the fuck are you here?" you demand, slamming your fists on the table. "As I recall, members of your precious Military Police killed him -"

Your voice dies and you take a shuddering breath, remembering all the blades being thrown at Eren and you reminding him not to die, him nodding and smiling like he always did. The blade that jabbed right through his heart. The blade that ended his life.

Pixis leans forward with a slight smile, and that twinkle in his eyes. You want to tell him to fuck off, and to ask why in hell he looks so happy planning an innocent kid's funeral, but your voice never comes out when he looks over at you.

"Now, Corporal Levi," he chides, and you glower at him. "Why so irritated today?"

"Shut the fuck up. And shouldn't his friends be helping out with this? Hell, his sister probably cared about that shitty brat more than I did."

"... I suppose you're right," Erwin cuts in. "I hadn't even though about that. Call the Special Operations Squad in ... as well as the titan shifters. Annie Leonheart, Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Fubar."

Hanji glances between you and Dok as if watching a tennis match. You're wondering why she decided to act surprised while Eren was dying - after all, she and Erwin knew about your private relationship.

"Oi, shitty four-eyes," you snap before you can even think about it. "What the hell is so interesting?"

"Nothing!" she lilts, and you arch an eyebrow. "I swear to God, Levi, it's nothing!" But she belts out a short bark of laughter after that.

You shoot her a glare that screams shut the fuck up or I will gut you and feed you to the titans that don't exist anymore.

She shuts up.

***

"He wanted to see the sea," you mutter, trying to believe that you're actually willingly taking part in this conversation. "Didn't he, Arlert?"

The blonde nods, looking nervously over at Mikasa. You notice this and roll your eyes.

"Then we're burying him there. I don't care what the rest of you shitheads say, we're burying him by the sea."

Arlert smiles slightly, brushing a hand through his hair slowly. He catches your gaze and you look away, biting your lip.

"You really cared about him, didn't you, Corporal?"

"Care," you correct grudgingly, knowing you're going to be bugged by Hanji or someone else about this later. "I still ... I still do."

Eren's best friend nods again, as if he'd expected this. You sweep past him, meeting eyes for a split second before both of you look away. Mikasa stops you on the way out.

"Corporal," she mutters, not meeting your eyes. "Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt would like to speak to you."

"... where are they?"

"O - outside."

Her voice quivers, and you wonder if you really scare her that much. She brushes her bangs back and pulls her scarf over her nose, eyes glimmering somewhat - you can tell she's thinking of Eren.

She leads you out into the hall, and there stand the three titan shifters. You open and close your mouth a few times, then glance at Annie, who's avoiding your gaze, while Reiner and Bertholdt stare directly into your eyes.

"Corporal," Annie starts. "I'm sorry. I - you know what, I don't want to even be in the same room as these two jackasses." She gestures to Bertholdt and Reiner, who shrug and are ushered out by Mikasa, who then leaves as well, after shooting you a look that you can't exactly read. "Corporal Levi, sir. I'm sorry for killing your squad. Those two asses who just left forced me into it. I really am sorry."

You arch an eyebrow. "It's fine, Leonheart," you assure her. "I know. Mikasa and Eren both told me that." You hesitate for a moment. "And I'm guessing you know the details of me and Eren's relationship?" She smirks and nods. "I'm going to kill that fucking shitty four-eyes."

"Can I help?" she asks, and you're beginning to like this girl. "I still have scars from all those ... experimentations."

"I'm sorry about that," you offer, biting your tongue lightly. "But the Military Police - as well as the shit-for-brains new Commander - insisted. Commander Four-Eyes, especially. She was very thrilled she had a new titan shifter to experiment on." He left you know, besides Eren unsaid, and she seemed to get it.

"I'm sorry about Eren," she murmurs, looking down at her feet. "As annoying as he was ... I'm still going to miss him."

"Same here," you respond hoarsely, digging your teeth into your lip. "I'll go speak with the two jackasses in there now. We'll ... we'll make sure they don't just go free, even if they do sincerely apologize for their actions."

"... so you've killed all the titans, huh."

"Yeah." You turn, leaving her with a brooding expression on your face and heading back into the room where Mikasa and the two titan shifters had disappeared into. "Bertholdt and Reiner," you call, locking eyes with the blonde standing right next to his taller friend. "I'm ready to speak with you now." You have difficulty controlling your voice - goddamnit, why is it so difficult now of all times? You're "Humanity's Strongest". And also, as known by some people (probably in the dumbass Military Police or Garrison), "Humanity's Robot".

Reiner and Bertholdt follow you into another room, where you kick over a few chairs and shove them into two of them, not taking a seat yourself and just shoving the extra aside with your foot.

"U - um, Corporal?" Bertholdt gulps, and you're pretty sure you look pretty damn pissed because these two fucking beasts are cowering in their seats. You smirk internally, before shocking him into silence again. There are a few minutes of awkward silence before the blondie, Reiner, clears his throat.

"We never meant to hurt anyone."

You turn on him, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, don't you even try that bullshit on me," you growl. "I know that Annie Leonheart didn't act on her own." When Bertholdt opens his mouth, you cut him off quickly. "Don't try to deny it. I know you - along with that father of hers - forced her to kill people."

"We didn't mean to hurt anyone, we swear!" Bertholdt pleads.

You roll your eyes.

This was going to take a while.

***

Once you've finally escaped from the hellhole of interrogating these two asshole titan shifters - Annie was right, they're motherfucking jackasses - you bump into Commander Shit-For-Brains, of all people. She smirks in a way that makes you absolutely certain this wasn't a coincidence.

"Still hate me?" she mocks, flicking you on the nose.

You don't respond, just fold your arms over your chest and walk away.

***

A few days later is Eren's funeral, held where he'll be buried. In fact, he's being buried there later that day.

You don't really want to go, but you know you have to. Now that your relationship has been completely revealed to the public, thanks to fucking four-eyes, you have to go kill some people if they even once step over boundaries to point out that it was illegal.

***

"Corporal," you hear and turn to see your squad - more specifically, Ymir along with them and speaking. You notice Armin and Mikasa aren't amongst them and guess that they've already headed over to the site. "We'd like to speak with you for a minute. Fuck off, Jean, go have some more fantasies about your dead boyfriend."

The horseface - damn, why do you keep calling him that, that's what Eren and some of the others call (in Eren's case, called) him - makes a noise of protest, but leaves anyway. You're grateful for that - you don't want the damned horseface to fuck things up. Badly.

"So," the freckled young woman states awkwardly, and you just glower at her. "None of us really want to be here."

"I figured," you quip dryly, not breaking the eye contact. "What's this dumbass confrontation thing about?"

You think you hear Springer and Braus snickering, but Historia nudges them into a stunned silence.

"Shut up, Connie, Sasha," the blonde hisses indignantly, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "I'm the Queen, I can do whatever the hell I want now."

You stifle a smile at this. Ymir rolls her eyes and looks back at you.

"Corporal -" she begins, but you cut her off.

"We've been through enough together," you snap. "Just call me Levi."

"Yessir," Connie snorts. "So anyways, we wanted to ask about you and Eren."

"Oh god, not this shit again."

You turn, but your wrist is clasped by a warm, small hand, and you turn again to find Historia biting her lip irritably. You groan and attempt to push her hand off, but her grip is like titanium.

"What the fuck do you want."

Sasha giggles. "How long was the relationship going on?"

You're taken aback by the question, but answer anyway. "Probably before we set out on the 57th expedition. I - I don't really remember."

"So, that's why he was so obsessed with what you would think about cleaning the place we were staying in ..." Connie murmurs, and your head snaps up. He snorts. "He was all, 'do you think Corporal Levi will be pleased with all this nonsense?' when we hadn't dusted the place, like, twelve times." He rolls his eyes.

"I've got to be heading in now," you snap quickly. "If you plan to put in a good word about the shitty brat, I'd suggest you'd get your asses over there as well."

The makeshift "hall" where his funeral is being held is fucking majestic - oops, you mean fucking pathetic. You lean against a pillar and fold your arms, barely listening to Darius Zackly's small speech. When all eyes are turned to you, however, you look up and arch an eyebrow.

"What?" you demand, and the Commander-in-Chief sighs.

"You weren't listening, were you?"

"... no."

He groans again. You don't really care.

"Would Humanity's Strongest like to give a speech?" he offers, and you roll your eyes.

"If you were expecting a speech," you respond dryly, eyes narrowing. "Then I'm going to have to disappoint you. I don't feel any need to make a special announcement about my feelings for the shitty brat."

"Oh, come on, Levi!" you hear.

"Shut up, you shitfaced excuse for the Commander," you growl before you even realize it. "I'm not making a speech, alright?" Your voice quivers. "His death was enough of a speech for me."

Mikasa steps forward, sparing you a pitiful glance before turning to Zackly. "I would like to make a speech, if that's alright with you, sir. And so would Levi's squad, along with Ymir, Annie Leonheart, Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Fubar."

"That's fine with me."

Your squad joins the black-haired woman at the place marked for his tombstone, and you grudgingly step forward.

"He was like a brother to me," Mikasa murmurs, tugging at her scarf. "He saved me. He killed two men - child traffickers - to save me. And in turn, I killed the third one to save his life. And maybe I thought of him as more than just a brother. I know he just saw me as his sister, but ..." She shakes her head. "I don't really mind. After all, he found someone that made him happy." A small smile lights up her features, and she looks at you. "Rest in peace, Eren. I'll miss you."

Arlert steps forward. "Eren was my best friend." He swallows. "He and Mikasa were always helping me out of trouble. I was bullied when we were younger - they often had to help me out. And I didn't like being treated like I was weak - I know Eren didn't see me like that, and neither does Mikasa. Eren was one of the first people to treat me like I was a person." He sighs. "I don't care if their relationship was illegal or not. As long as Eren was happy, I'm fine with it." He bows his head. "I'll really miss you, Eren."

Next to speak is Historia. "I always was jealous of him, for knowing his goals and being able to work towards them without being sidetracked. I know he saw me as phony for being so emotional - and you know what, he was right." She bites her lip. "I was a phony. I was a child, scared out of my mind by the death of my mother. I was weak." She shakes her head slowly. "But ever since I showed him how hollow I really am, he told me I was a 'stupidly honest and regular person'." The blonde giggles. "I hope you're happy, Eren. You're with your mom, now, aren't you? And all those soldiers who died along the way."

Jean Kirstein spoke up next. "Dumbass goes and winds up dead, expects me to praise him. Good luck, Jaeger."

You roll your eyes, and Ymir does as well. "Shut up, Jean." She groans. "I really don't want to give a speech, but Eren ... I'm sorry. I was an idiot, keen on protecting the only light in my life, Historia Reiss." The freckled woman rolls her eyes again. "And so we didn't trust one another. I didn't care about anything else - only protecting Historia. We could've been close comrades, but I had to screw it up."

"Ymir ..." Historia breathes.

Sasha cuts Ymir off. "Me and Eren weren't particularly close, but we were friends. I don't really have anything else to say - you guys have said it all for me." Her face flushes. "Is there any food here?"

"Sasha, get out," Connie snaps, pushing her into the crowd. You sigh. "I agree with her, though. There's nothing left to say. He was an amazing soldier and an amazing man. Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt ... do you three have anything to say?"

Reiner and Bertholdt look at each other. "No," they say at the same time. But Annie steps forward.

"Eren, I'm sorry," she mutters, looking at her feet. "I know you probably hate me, but I just wanted you let you know that. I know that you knew I didn't kill people of my own accord. Thank you for believing in me ... and I truly am sorry for all the damage I caused."

"Thank you," Zackly cuts in, ushering the group over towards you. You groan quietly to yourself. "Would anyone else like to speak?"

He looks at you. You roll your eyes.

"My answer is the same as ever," you chide irritably, gritting your teeth. "And why in hell are you people so interested in my love - or sex, depending on the person" - you glare at Hanji - "life? More importantly ... why is the Military Police here? To apologize for killing one of our only weapons against the titans?"

"Calm down, Levi," Erwin assures snidely, looking over at you. You glower at him, and before he can speak again, you interrupt.

"Calm down? Calm down?" you growl, eyes narrowed. "That shitty brat's killers are at his funeral. Why the fuck are they here?"

"Humanity's Strongest seems quite worked up about this shitty little brat," Dok snickers. "Did you love him, Levi?"

You're ready to kick his ass into the ocean - let him drown or get eaten by some creature in the sea - but Erwin's suddenly right there, gripping your wrist. You decide it can wait until after the shitty brat is buried.

***

After he's buried, you stand beside the tombstone and kneel, making sure there's no one else nearby. You suspect your squad's hiding somewhere, wanting to listen in, but you sigh and lean forward anyway.

"Eren," you whisper, letting the breeze slip in between your lips. "If I could bring you back, I would. I - I miss you." With Eren was the only place you could get rid of the emotionless mask you always kept while around others. "... goddamnit. You've turned me into a sap, it seems." You sigh. "I love you too, you shitty brat. Don't fear, love, I'll be along soon."

You let those words sweep over the stone plaque and stand, but don't leave without letting your cape fall over his tombstone. You smile down at it and walk away, hurrying back to your headquarters.

***

You unsheathe the blade, admiring your reflection and sighing. You can't believe you're doing this, but ... your mind is made up. And you'll be with Eren.

Before you cut any part of your skin with it, you scrawl a quick note with a nearby pen and paper you'd prepared.

_Dear whoever finds me -_

_I'm sorry I couldn't tell you I was going to do this. I wanted it to be a secret._

_To Commander Shit-For-Brains, you're still an ass. You don't deserve anything of mine._

_To Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman (as well as the rest of my squad), you take anything you want. Find out what's in that basement. We were dumbasses to not check it out when we were there to retake Wall Maria._

_To Erwin Smith, make sure the Military Police is obliterated. Mikasa can help with this._

_To everyone else in the Survey Corps - especially those who have fallen - thank you, soldiers. Your duty has been carried out well._

_To Eren Jaeger ..._

_I'll see you soon._

_\- Corporal Levi / Humanity's Strongest_

When you're finished, you slip the blade over your throat, slitting it open carefully and laying back on the bed, letting your blood stain the fresh white sheets red and smiling at the lovely, disgusting mess. You toss the blade aside, clutching the note and holding it to your chest.

"Thank you," you choke out. "Thank you, soldiers. You have done well."

Your eyes close as you sip in the last breath of oxygen you'll ever take in, and your smile never fades.

_... I'm here, Eren. I'm here._


End file.
